If you could see through the trees across this beaver pond you'd be able to see our house. Taking this photo I was struck by the overall lack of vibrant color. It was the same last year. I had the dogs with me and it was tricky to take this without having Wendy walk into the poison ivy that's growing all over the sides of the road. Gus is more cooperative, being naturally obedient and now aged on top of this. In spite of his being well and in many ways still puppy-like, Gus has been showing his age more and more over the last few months, so all our walks together are short now. He likes to walk and still prances and jumps when he sees his leash, but once on the walk he's pokey, while Wendy pulls ahead unless I keep laying down the law with her. The whole thing can become a pain rather than being a pleasure like it used to be. Keeping it short helps. If I want a long walk I go without them. It seems a shame but I've had to get over it.
Sometimes walking is just walking but sometimes it's what I do to save myself when it feels like there's no place else to turn. When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer last year it was what I did to get through those early worst days when I would wake up in the morning and remember I had cancer instead of it just being a normal day the way it used to be. I walked when I was going crazy from anxiety while waiting over a long weekend for the results of my staging tests. If you walk long enough it seems things become more manageable. I also had this kind of superstitious or magical notion that if I just kept moving forward-walking, on the bike, whatever- that I wouldn't die. I still semi-believe this even though I know no one has ever attained immortality by this method- a lot have died with their boots on I bet, and were probably better for it. It is interesting and encouraging to hear that exercise can decrease recurrence by as much as 50%. Makes me wonder if there is an intuitive aspect to my superstition.
